JosieBender

Come the Darkness

 

The last blood-red sun-drop fades, the world drops away

Come my little sweetie, darkness crushes day.

What remains behind, lurks, scowls, time biding time.

Step softly, tip-toe around solid ground. Flats, heels – never mind.

Lash the strappings down, careful my dear, bitterness has no sound.

No whimper, not here, our time not yet clear.

Beneath common rails,

Barbed-wire love thrashes and flails.

Remove your sickly blouse, Drain the color from your lips.

Now part them into smiles, be happy, be gay.

Run and hide, inside, broken stride.

Wish upon wish,

Your timely death by kiss.

Of course silly girl, almost flaxen hair,

Deep blue eyes, a distant light, daring you to come alive.

Stand your ground, you hapless bitch, sundown witch.

Ask forgiveness on bended knee, such reckless play; shameful

In the light of day. Tears of rage, waste of time, bide your time?

Look around, you’re not alone.

Cracks in walls, not binding best, androgyny is left.

Bow your head to heathen gods; Suffer no human fools

Who gave ancient birth to this mess.

Come the darkness, never too soon, cool, sad blue moon.

Misbehave alone, witness angry walls,

Giving birth to life and deeds, only thoughts are free . . .

Come the darkness you and me.

 

August 2016

 

How does it Feel

(Performed at Garlic Festival Sept 29-30 2018), Orange MA

 

Damn, we gotta go so bad!  Which bathroom do we pick? 

We’re so confused, scared out of our wits. 

 

How did all this begin?  Where the fuck does it end.

Mom calls us Josie, Daddy did too, god rest his soul. 

Messed us up pretty good; didn’t think they would.

 

Why did this all begin?  No fucking clue, or even when.

We only know what we’ve been told, time & time again.

All the shrinks in the world say the same, sorry gurl it’s not going away.

 

We like it like this, as hard as it can be, like finding a safe place to pee.

Tell us again, how all this began. We like the whole package, from beginning to end.

Maybe it starts with losing your hair. You wanna 

Look 15 years younger like us with our long blond hair.

 

We just wanna dance.  Skirts are so hot, cooler than pants.

Just wanna be free. Who cares how & where we pee. 

 

Being a girl is pretty cool, breaking all the rules.  

The fun we have changing hair, pleated skirts, silk underwear.

Painted nails, hot red lips, hair barrettes & clips – it’s just not fair.

Sorry boys, truth or dare, don't care what you say, us gurls rule the day.  

 

Damage control on high alert!  Being called a sissy all your life really hurts.

That’s what we are, a sissy inside.  Sensitive and smart, so why should we hide?

What’s it like to walk in these pumps, have your V-spot grabbed by an ugly Trump.

We just can't believe it, how it must feel, something so vile, it’s unreal!

 

So look at us, we’re not going away. The two of us found a better way.

Sometimes we’re together, it depends on the day.

The world might be a nicer place if everyone knows how it feels

To live the life of a woman in flats or heels.  

 

Standing up or sitting down when we pee.  We just wanna dance, just wanna be free! We’re no different inside, you and we – we all just wanna be free.

 

JJ White,  Art Deviation      Feb 2017

 

Stained Sheets

The elephant in the room, the darkest taboo, the forbidden fruit. Oh child of God, Unforgiving Church. Mortal, deadly sins.  Countless, stupid venal sins.  Weak confessions, genuflections, stations crossing.  Holy water, body blood, thorny crown . . . all alone.  

Primal, beastly urges. Looming monster shadows.  Only fear is living.  Haunting secrets lying near me.  Mother Mary, please forgive me.  Darkness, darkness take my eyes, make me blind.  Running, running don’t deny, shameful, reckless your desire. 

Pillow wet with terror tears. Stained sheets, flushed cheeks. 

Hail Mary full of Grace.  Beg for mercy from this place. Bless me Father for I have sinned, again and again.  Atavistic ritual to begin. 

Pounding heart, silent fear, perforated glass, God is near. 

Pale light, bourbon-breathing.  Darkest secrets now are living.  Truth forgiving.  

Pious moments, bended knees, free me if you please.  Cold stone cleansing, innocence returning.  Head is cowered, the just are right.  Take me back to the lust of night.  

Only knowing that’s for certain, it was witnessed and replayed, every day, on high-def channel Heaven. 

Watch me, watch me . . . 24-7.  

A holocaust of billions with no hate.  Not-quite-never-will-be-human seeking just to mate, to over-populate.  Swimming, swimming with all their might, exploding into night. 

Oh fragile earth. There is no birth. Darkness, darkness take my hand. Release me now, I’ve come, the promised land. 

 

J.J. White

Toronto ON

Western Mass 

 

 

Hi, I’m Josie, the girl next door, wearing Calvin Klein and Christian Dior. Didn’t you hear, Amerika is great again for girls like ME, super-star atheletes on bended knee, and the NRA keeping bathrooms gender free.

Make Amerika Nice Again! Lower taxes for vegetarians, higher teacher pay, free tuition for queers & gays.  No more swampy swill for corporate titans sucking public till.

So come along with me – Make America Nice and Free! Let’s show the world our economic might – health care is a basic human right. Make America Nice Again, the way we used to be, helping those in need.  Black, white, brown, immigrants yearning to be free – Two Spirit folk like me! 

Did you read the news today, yesterday and every day?  The sweet girl like me next door found bloody lifeless on the floor. A nightmare on your tablet screen, talking TV heads snuffing out another dream.

Alarm bells scream, ripping  us from listless dreams. Morning hunger churning, turning into rage. Little boy, terrorized alone, safe & sound in a white tent home. It can’t be true all this news – double barbed-wire cage, American-made, three meals a day, Bible-thumping, fist-pumping atavistic Red State rage.

A precious hijo ripped asunder, off his mother’s hip; callous, lying words from the coward, captain’s lips.  It’s too late to save your name, drenched in shame, used in vain.  Jesus, Yaweh, Allah – the sacred now becomes profane.  

Dream away this evil plague.  Back to sleep we go, jack-boots marching toe to toe, senseless human demons, dancing, clapping – cheering on the beastly show.  Lying naked on your floor, I’m Josie, the girl next door, slowly dying in your arms; beneath a godless sky, high above a Texas cage, dreams forever lost in endless rage.

 

June 19, 2018

JJ White/Performed by Josie

What to do

 

Don't know what to do 

I shave for you, make love to you

Heels kick high, night of blue 

Searching your eyes, drilling me through.

 

Take hold of me, this live volt wire 

Take hold of me, this new desire 

Call me out, an acid trip

Call me back, make me strip.

 

Reinvent me when the sun goes down

I'm losing my ground, giving in to you 

Never known love like this, wild and new.

 

Teasing me, begging you

Watch me dance, feel the trance

I'm inside of you, take a chance. 

 

Dress me up, take my hand

This promised land.

I'm born anew, I'm through with you

What's a poor gurl to do?

 

Never felt love like this, wild and new

I'm inside of you, take a chance

This forbidden romance. Hey, 

I'm on fire, please watch me dance.

 

Hike my skirt, up your thighs

Make me smile, eyes are wild.

Never made love like this, call it bliss

Wet lipstick kiss, I can't resist. 

 

What to do, I'm asking you.

Say good-bye to all that's new.

I'm asking you, what to do.

I don't think we’re through with you. 

 

JJ White

August 24, 2014 – written on Z10 smartphone